Psychologist Julie Axelrod has pointed out that losing a dog is so painful because the owners don’t just lose the pet. It could mean the loss of a source of unconditional love, a primary companion who provides security and comfort, and perhaps even a protégé who was cared for like a child. The death of a pet can hurt just as much as the loss of a close relative or friend. It is common for people to have conflicts with family members about religion, money, politics, etc., conflicts that can lead to emotional distance between them.
People and pets don’t have this kind of conflict. Pets depend 100 percent on their human companion. Yes, you may get angry with your dog for chewing your shoelaces or leaving a “surprise” on your carpet, but those feelings of frustration and anger quickly dissipate after your pet looks at you with funny ears and wide open eyes. Losing a pet can be your child’s first death experience and can be your first opportunity to teach them how to deal with the grief and pain that inevitably comes with the joy of loving another living being. Losing a pet can be a traumatic experience for any child.
Many kids love their pets a lot and some may not even remember a time in their life when the pet wasn’t around. A child may feel angry and blame himself or you for the pet’s death. A child may be afraid that other people or animals they love may also abandon them. How you handle the grief process can determine whether the experience has a positive or negative impact on your child’s personal development.
Losing this unconditional love is understandably very difficult. Pets teach you responsibility, patience, kindness, discipline, playfulness and, above all, unconditional love. When you rely on your pet, saying goodbye can be like losing a best friend and your support structure. While some people may not understand how deep the feeling you had for your pet is, you should never feel guilty or ashamed when you mourn the loss of an animal friend.
Grace writes in shame: “It may seem very strange and ridiculous, but I really mourned for my dead pet. They may not understand it because they don’t have their own pet or can’t appreciate the companionship and love a pet can provide. If you lived alone and the pet was your only companion, it can be even harder to cope with their loss. Not surprisingly, a 1988 study in the Journal of Mental Health Counseling found that dog owners placed their dog as close as their closest family member and the closest of all 38 percent of the time, Joe Yonan reported in The Washington Post.
If your pet is very ill or unexpectedly injured, you may be asked if you want to put your pet to sleep. Pets help many older adults stay active and playful, which can boost your immune system and boost your energy. There is no right way to grieve and work through this process as everyone goes on a different journey with a pet.